Posted in Devotional Musings

The Journey Begins

I can’t remember the last moment I had where I was able to sit outside purely to enjoy the outdoors.  Most of my days were usually filled with looking at my never-ending “to do lists” or binge-watching the latest TV series in between meetings and Church.

Every time I felt burnt out I would always make a vow to rest more, re-organise my schedule, eat healthier and exercise more. I made these promises to myself with determination and a steadfast resolve that this is what was required in order to achieve more calm in my chaos. Well, that was the plan, but all I ended up doing was to exchange one list for the next ensuring that my task filled life would continue.

Today is different.  Today I’m at day 4 after my first chemo treatment and my soul is yearning for more time resting in God.

So often we look for Bible verses to speak truth into our circumstances.  We are inspired when we go to Christian conferences arriving back home enthused to live a more fulfilled and intentional life.  We read every spiritual growth book which fits our “now” moment nodding our head at the sections we relate to and noting down all the other new revelations we stumble across. These are all good things, and things that will certainly help us to grow, but how often do we choose to just rest in Him?

Today I choose to sit, rest and listen for God’s voice.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10a)

I’m outdoors in my backyard sitting comfortably in the shade looking out at the yard which has been mowed, trimmed, tidied and cleared thanks to a team of beautiful people from my Church.  If someone was to see me they would think nothing of it I’m sure.

But in the beauty of this single moment of time what they would be missing at first glance is that in my rest my senses are heightened.

I hear the rustle of the leaves as the wind blows through the trees. I see the blossoms fall to the ground like snow. I notice the sunshine disappear behind a cloud, just for a moment, and then delight in seeing it burst forth to dry my washing once again. I close my eyes and feel the wind.

I ponder what I see, feel and hear.  The miracle of the moment, the pause in time which will soon be in the past and I smile.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7a)

Why do I smile? Because, in this beautiful moment I have discovered a truth that was just waiting for me.  When we rest in God our spiritual senses will be heightened and He will meet us there. He will speak to us through His Word, we will have enough quiet to hear His voice and promptings.  He will rejuvenate and infuse our innermost being with peace in the midst of our messes and it will be well with our soul.

Dear Lord, so often we allow time to rush us by as we desperately check off our to do lists each day.  Please teach us how to stop and take the time to just rest in you.  Let us never forget how precious time with you is. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Posted in Devotional Musings

When Life Throws You a Curve Ball

When I started my blog a couple of years back I always envisioned that it would be to publish my thoughts on where I saw God day to day in every day life.  Every day life to me was, at the time what I would consider quite average and included:-

  • Single mum to a pretty amazing son.
  • Working full time.
  • Serving in a number of ministries at my church.
  • Running Bible studies in my home throughout the year.
  • The odd health issue but nothing too concerning.
  • The odd tough time with family law and financial issues.

One thing was for certain I was always in a rush.  At times it was hard to stop throughout my busy life to write my thoughts down to share with you, I have at least 10 partially written blog posts sitting there waiting to expand on but never seeming to have the moments of time to stop, process and complete them.

Little did I know that life would throw me a curve ball and my blog would grow from snippets of life lessons I have learned into a testimony of God’s faithfulness in a particularly tough time.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  Hebrews 10:23 (NIV)

I have been diagnosed with Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer.  When I was first diagnosed I couldn’t even say the word.  Part of me was in disbelief and with the initial appointments I would go with the tiny hope in the back of my mind that they would say “we were mistaken”.  We had been living the last year as a family throughout my father’s terminal diagnosis and it never occurred to me that I would have my own cancer journey.

I had always dreamed of being a writer, and now that I am unable to work for a season I certainly have a lot of opportunity to write.

I have had people ask me so many questions – some asking if I am concerned about  dying if the treatment doesn’t work, others asking what I need, and other beautiful people who don’t know what to say so they do all the know how which is to love and bless us in whatever way they can.

So this my friends is what my blog is going to begin to look like. I will write about my journey and let you know that from day one God has been ever-present and overwhelmingly carrying me in ways I never could have dreamed of. He has been so “in my face” that there has been no room for fear, only an overwhelming sense of being humbled that over all the years He has put things in play right for this moment.

What a comfort it is to have a God who already knows the outcome and already knows what we need before we even ask.

Don’t get me wrong.  I know there will be times of tears during the mess and vulnerability when I don’t know that I have the energy to take another step but if there is one thing I am sure of it is that I trust God in all things, the good and the bad, and I really desire for you to meet Jesus if you don’t have a relationship with Him already.

I pray that through my journey you will see God in the midst and that it will encourage you to push on in your journey.